10 Tips for a More Resilient You

Read below as Dr. Kat shares 10 Easily applied tips and ways of being for a More Resilient You.

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10 Effective Ways to Develop a More Resilient YOU

1. Believe in YOU – Have a belief in your ideas, concepts, products, and services, but most of all, believe in what you have to offer others.
2. Stay Humble – Keep in mind not to overdo your self-promotion. People are turned off by pushy, obnoxious people. People love to buy things but hate the feeling of being SOLD TO.
3. Remain Grounded – As Your Business Grows Don’t allow your ego to get in the way of common business sense and effective self-promotion.
4. Talk to new people everywhere you go. Talk on elevators, talk on airplanes, talk on trains – talk, talk, talk! Meet as many new people as you can every day. You never know where your next great opportunity will appear. Be ready, because they will appear everywhere. 115
5. Be Prepared – Carry a sample of your products and/or a description of your services, and your business cards EVERYWHERE you go. You never know when you will get an opportunity to promote yourself and help others in the process.
6. Practice the Science & Art of Effective Self-Promotion – As you begin to feel more comfortable with the concept, step out of your comfort zone, and journal your shameless success step-by-step.
7. Keep a Positive Attitude & Create Contagious Enthusiasm – Your mood affects your beliefs, which in turn, determines the level of your personal and professional success. Staying positive and enthusiastic is essential to successful self-promotion! Be consciously aware of your energy and emotions at all times.
8. Seek Out & Act on More Opportunities – Look for opportunities EVERYWHERE. They are all around you. Be open-minded to new ideas and new business ventures.
9. Take Your Expertise to a Higher Level of Success – As you continue to learn and grow, you will being to have revolutionary thinking and start to think outside of your comfort level. Promote your expertise by telling people what you do best.
10. Break the Mold & Create Your Own Unique Style – Don’t be a conformist. To be truly successful, you must be unique in some way. Discover new ways to stand out and be different from your competitors.

Making an Impact

Dr. Kat speaks with a personal brand strategist, author, and speaker – The Marketing Lady herself Tarsha Polk. About her latest book Making an Impact. We get into how resilience plays a part in the effectiveness of your personal brand

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Wisdom of Resilience

In life we have times when we feel stagnant and that opportunities are not coming our way and that what we desire is just out of reach. We just need a bit of encouragement and insight or WISDOM to help us course-correct and create the lives we desire. Here is some wisdom to help you get unstuck and move forward. Read below.

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More than ever there have been times I’ve had discussions with friends and associates in both personal and casual settings about how we are feeling about the progressive movement of our lives. I think we all have those times when we feel stagnant and that things are not moving fast enough towards our goals or that opportunities are not presenting themselves in the way we have envisioned. You want that career achievement, that financial success, to meet that someone special, and it seems just out of reach.

Well, that is where your strength supports you and you break through the obstacles that are in your way. You have the courage which has gotten you this far. You have stepped up and into a space of confidence and knowledge and just need a little encouragement and insight or wisdom to unstick you.

Being wise is a mental, emotional, and spiritual growth characteristic that is achieved by observing and living through life’s experiences. There are shortcuts to wisdom. Taking advice from those who have reached the highly respected Wise label is an easier route to understanding life’s puzzle. It can soften and sometimes avoid pain and disappointments of actually living through some experiences. 

Claiming to have a degree in the hard knocks of life is no shield from repetitive experiences of failure or defeat, but a little advice can help you course correct in your journey for a smoother arrival. 

Resilience is evidence of courage, strength and wisdom.”

Dr. Kat Smith

You’ve Got This!

You’ve shown the: 

Courage: the ability to stand up for what you want and choose change. The heart to step out from your safety zone and go after your dreams and goals. 

Possess the:

Strength: the power to endure and stay on course with your focus or vision for the  life or career you desire 

Now I share some of the:

Wisdom: to help us be mindful enough and open up and learn from our mistakes and those of others and develop our resilience. Moving forward and gaining knowledge and skill to grow and prosper.

  1. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” – Bernard M. Maruch.  
    1. Be your authentic self at all times. You are best at being you and no one can give the world what you have to share. 
    2. Start with where you are – who you are and from there you have the foundation and wisdom of all your experiences, desires and goals. There you can set boundaries and convictions and give purpose and meaning to your life and focus. 
    3. Let go of the dirty little secret  of Impostor syndrome – a psychological pattern when deep down you doubt your accomplishments and reflect a belief of inadequacy and that you are an incompetent failure despite evidence of your skill and success. This fear of being exposed as a “fraud” and that your accomplishments are a result of serendipitous luck only fosters stress and anxiety. Acknowledge your achievements and go for what you want and life and relish each victory.
  2. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is beauty, admire it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, we must take it.”  – Mother Teresa. 
    1. Show up for life. Live in the present and let go of the past or haunting negative comments.
    2. Accept the challenge and go for the victory. Dream it, realize it. Yes, you may feel stuck at this moment but like all moments, they pass and this too shall make you more resilient.
  3. “Fall Forward.” – Denzel Washington. 
    1. Never give up, learn from every experience, not afraid of being wrong to reinforce your perseverance. 
    2. Remember insanity is repeating the same thing over again expecting different outcome. Even scientist learn from each experiment when perfecting its outcome.
    3. Apply yourself to your desires and relish in both your failures and successes for they afford you growth.

In closing, “The tragedy of life is often not in our failure, but rather in our complacency; not in our doing too much, but rather in our doing too little; not in our living above our ability, but rather in our living below our capacities.” – Benjamin E. Mays. 

Thoughts, ideas and dreams can remain on hold without action and the application of emotion. 

And though we may have heard the comment “Opinion are like buttholes. Everyone has one” – the previous advice is an opinion derived from experience and expertise. You can take it or leave it. Unstick yourself from the insanity. It’s your choice – You are free to do things over and over again or you can learn from others and reach a different outcome. Which is a wise decision.

Tips for Better Understanding

In this episode of #ResilientLivingTV Kat shares tips on creating a better understanding of a relationship to resolve issues and eliminate confusion and frustration.

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Effects of Sexual Trauma

What are the lasting effects of sexual violence? In this episode of #ResilientLivingTV we will look at the three main effects and how lives are changed forever.

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EFFECTS OF SEXUAL TRAUMA

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When it comes to sexual violence, the bruises are on the inside -Sexual, Physical, emotional, or mental abuse can have a profound effect on your overall well-being. The trauma can even trigger clinical depression, a serious mental health disorder.

EFFECTS OF SEXUAL TRAUMA

Depression
It’s normal for survivors to have feelings of sadness, unhappiness, and hopelessness. If these feelings persist for an extended period of time, it may be an indicator of depression. Depression is not a sign of weakness and it’s not something you should be expected to “snap out of.” It’s a serious mental health condition and survivors can often benefit from the help of a professional.

Symptoms include:

  • feeling hopeless about life
  • overcome by sadness
  • detached from others, including loved ones
  • trouble concentrating

My story of depression begins with 6 months of crying myself to sleep. I felt alone until finally, I realized that that was no way to continue on.

If you have symptoms of depression for more than 2 weeks, then you may want to see a doctor. Don’t let it persist. Get help.

FLASHBACKS

A flashback is when the memories feel as if they are taking place in the current moment. It’s difficult to realize that it is not real. Because of someone experiencing a flashback, it is as if they are experiencing it all over again and that the person who caused the pain is present.

At first, flashbacks may seem random however, they can be triggered by something as simple as a smell or a tone of voice, how or where someone touches you.

There is help for flashbacks. Get help from a medical professional or there is brain rewiring therapy that does not involve pain. Because the trauma affects the brain and how it is wired, you can reverse it with treatment.

Until you can get help – Try these simple tips to help you through a flashback:

  • Tell yourself its a flashback – Like a bad dream. Try to return to the present.
  • Breathe – Take slow, deep breaths by placing your hand on your stomach and taking deep breaths. Fear sometimes causes us to stop breathing or take shallow breaths, so pay attention to your breathing – taking deep breaths – count to 7 as you inhale through your nose slowly then exhale through your mouth and count again to 7 until you calm down.
  • Return to the present –  Activate your 5 senses:
  • Look around you What do you see? Items, people, place?
  • What do you smell? Recognize familiar scents?
  • Listen What do you hear?
  • Try to eat or drink something – that you enjoy engaging your sense of taste.
  • Activate your sense of touch – hold something tactile or temperature cold. What does it feel like?
  • It is a good thing to identify something that comforts or makes you feel safer. A blanket, A pillow, a place.

These steps will help take your attention from the flashback and help you relax. As you practice more you will get better at it.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
PTSD is not just for the men and women of the military. It has been shown that survivors of sexual violence experience feelings of anxiety, stress, or fear.

PTSD – is an anxiety disorder resulting from a traumatic event. Survivors of any type of trauma, including sexual violence.

It is associated with extreme feelings of:

  • stress
  • fear
  • anxiety
  • nervousness
  • constantly in danger

All of which make it difficult to function in everyday life.

There are three main symptoms of PTSD:
Re-experiencing: feeling like you are reliving the event through flashbacks, dreams, or intrusive thoughts
Avoidance: intentionally or subconsciously changing your behavior to avoid scenarios associated with the event or losing interest in activities you used to enjoy
Hyper-arousal: feeling “on edge” all of the time, having difficulty sleeping, being easily startled, or prone to sudden outbursts

Again if you feel you are experiencing PTSD, get help. It is not something you want to ignore for your own peace and happiness.

Ignoring your trauma can lead to:

  • Self Harm
  • Substance abuse
  • Isolation
  • Eating Disorders
  • Sleep Disorders
  • Suicide

You can find a list of services and hotlines on my site. The link is below and also RAINN – Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network is a valuable resource to understand more about sexual violence, child and adult victims, and statistics of sexual crimes.